Ground Floor, Freeport

Guilty

“Perhaps I refuse to run free… “

Hear it!

On DNR release date, the full song will arrive here
and in the usual online places like Spotify & iTunes.

“… from the space where you used to be”

Song Lyric

I wake up in the morning and toss off in bed
Another bright beginning soon will be dead
Cigarettes and coffee can’t stop the tide
This water keeps rising and I just can’t hide

So I look into the mirror but all I can see
Is another contradiction burn inside me
My head is overflowing but my heart bleeds dry
I still want to run to you
but I don’t know why I don’t know why

Maybe I’m guilty
Or perhaps I refuse to go free
Maybe I’m blinded
Or perhaps I just don’t want to see
The space where you used to be


I know that you can’t hear me so soon I’ll attack
I chain you to my dreams but that won’t get you back
My future is darkening with memories of you
I beg for forgiveness to see me through
to see me through

Maybe I’m guilty
Or perhaps I refuse to be free
Maybe I’m blinded
Or perhaps I just don’t want to see
That I might be guilty
Or perhaps I refuse to go free
From the space where you used to be


But don’t get me wrong my friend
I’ll be strong and free from you again

And I won’t be guilty
And perhaps I can learn to run free
I won’t be blinded
And perhaps I can learn how to see
I might not be guilty
And perhaps I can learn to put me
In the space where you used to be… yes me
In the space where you used to be


I will be in the space where you used to be
I will be in that space and I won’t be guilty
I won’t be guilty

But now I wake up in the morning and toss off in bed
Another bright beginning soon will be dead

© DNR Records / Tom Acousti 1993 “all rights reserved”

Kevin Teel
acoustic guitar
bass

Kevin Teel – 
acoustic guitar & 
bass

 

About the Song

I can’t remember the exact time and place of writing this song, and that’s probably a good thing.  I DO remember thinking that it has to be produced with at least some bounce or it might get a little too real for comfort.

 

I was headed toward that irreversible phase in a divorce… that limbo-time, so full of contradiction… when your body and memory are still drawn to something that doesn’t really exist anymore.

About the Recording

This recording is a product of what I call the South Carolina sessions, or “SC Mayhem.” Teel and I had made arrangements to record at a friends “studio” during a three day road break.  The studio was in a bedroom; we slept on the floor and recorded all day until…  as long as it took.  It was very free and creative.  The place was simple and old-school with a 16 track tape machine, Fostex mixing board, minimal outboard gear, and the old Yamaha NS10 monitors.


It’s a blur to recall except in snapshots, like beating on a kick drum with a stick in the bathroom and banging on a washing machine to make the rhythm loop… then cutting tape with a razor about 60 times to complete the full length track.  The keyboard was a real vintage Juno 6 with buttons and knobs.  We were in a playground, and we played.  As a result, the finished recording had an interesting sound so, other than remastering, we’ve not changed the original much for this DNR release.